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Vicodin Blogging, 3AM

September 28, 2006

I composed this post in my head several nights ago as I lay in bed, but I forgot to actually write it for real. Like so many posts. And then I go waste a good hour commenting at The America Bug. (You can view my comments and others in the same thread in the Cocomments section in the right sidebar).

I’ve really been through an unbelievably difficult time at work for the past couple of months. I’ve hardly had a half hour a day to myself for weeks, and when I do it’s usually spent doing something boring like staring at the wall as I lay in a stupor on the couch. I worked 5 weekends in a row, both days, plus a couple of extra Saturdays. My kids were really missing me and the Countess and I have really had to struggle for time together in any non-comatose way. It’s not much of a life.

In the middle of it all I had another kidney stone attack, which put me in the emergency room at 1AM for the 4th time. Luckily the stone seemed to settle in a more agreeable place, and I was able to go about 6 weeks before using up my first weekend off to have surgery. So I went in Friday and spent the next 3 days recovering.

It’s was interesting to me what got done during this period. I mean, there were a couple days I didn’t have time to check my email. And my computer is on my desk right next to the Avid. Blogging went to almost nil – only a couple times after a glass of wine did I try to put some thoughts together. Those are probably some of the most woefully wanting posts I’ve done. Still, it seemed better to try to express myself rather than stay silent, which is so often my reflex.

What I found the time to read was very revealing to me. The only blog I found time for every day was The Belmont Club. Sometimes I feel like Wretchard is the only one blogging who understands how I think and feel about the world- only better than I do. In a sense, he is a real friend to me, a truly reasonable and insightful voice in a world seemingly dominated by fools, dreamers and the naive. I may exhibit those qualities myself from time to time, but at least when I read Wretchard I feel like I know what’s going on, an why. It’s so tempting to think that everything is "a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing".  But even the idiots have something worthwhile to say sometimes. If you’re listening. It’s much more productive though, to listen to people whom you have an esteem for. I’m all for hearing the opposing point of view on occasion, but after a while, if you don’t realize that you just have differing values and move on, you’re wasting time being aggravated for no good reason. Not that opposing= idiot.

What else did I find time for? Well, because he’s so pithy and wide-ranging, Instapundit was a solid 2nd place. 3rd place? Not much really. Maybe Austin Bay or Libertas. Not much Hugh Hewitt or Pajamas Media (slow to warm to the re-design in either case). Not much Real Clear Politics, Mark Steyn and definitely not much America Bug. It’s probably been good for me. But it’s been lonely.

Believe me, I still have much to say to my small corner of the world, but I would be lying if I said I didn’t find the tedium of linking, of responding to comments, of being timely in topical posts, of just thinking about the huge problems we face as a culture a borderline OCD exercise in vanity and futility. Out, out brief candle. Well, not just yet mofo. I’m going to try to keep making sense of the world, to form and express thoughts,  to cajole, to be outrageous. To any of you reading this, thank you for staying with me this far. I’m just getting started. The good stuff is still to come.

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3 Comments leave one →
  1. Tim. C. permalink
    October 2, 2006 7:17 pm

    Feel better Count,

    Tim

  2. October 9, 2006 9:07 am

    Hi Count,

    Welcome back. I hope and pray your health and work schedule starts to improve.

    You don’t owe anyone timely posts. When I was in High School, I had a class that combined English Literature with American History. The American History teacher would often compare History to current events so she expected her class to read the Newspaper daily. However, the English Literature teacher would often ridicule current events and the Newspaper as a big waste of time. He wanted us to focus on timeless issues. In their own way, they were both right.

    There are plenty of full time bloggers writing timely pieces on current events. It’s much harder to find thinkers writing and blogging about timeless issues. I’m sure if you write when you are ready to write, your pieces will be much more timeless and probably more thoughtful as well.

  3. October 9, 2006 9:55 am

    Thanks, David for the wise word. I do feel like I’m a big picture person, a synthesizing person who can see the patterns or large issues that tie several events together. That’s not really what the blogoshpere is about most of the time though. Then there are guys like Wretchard at Belmont Club who seem to post regularly, be topical and find the bigger issue.

    Mostly though, I do feel like I owe it to myself to blog more just because so much is brewing under the surface, and it helps me tremendously to express it, however feebly. As a friend of mine liked to say “anything worth doing is worth doing poorly”. I need to make a little time to at least do it poorly. Maybe I should become more instapundit-like and linky with little commentary. I tend to read these huge articles that take a long time to digest- I could at least get that out.

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