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Are You A Monkey Helper?

January 13, 2007

So Rob finally admits he can’t handle his anger towards the proprietors of the Strange Monkey Doll. This might be a good time to review some TSA guidelines on how to be a monkey helper:

Monkey Helpers

  • When a monkey is being transported in a carrier, the monkey must be removed from the carrier by the handler prior to screening,
  • The monkey must be controlled by the handler throughout the screening process.
  • The monkey handler should carry the monkey through the WTMD while the monkey remains on a leash.
  • When the handler and monkey go through the WTMD and the WTMD alarms, both the handler and the monkey must undergo additional screening.
  • Since monkeys may likely draw attention, the handler will be escorted to the physical inspection area where a table is available for the monkey to sit on.  Only the handler will touch or interact with the monkey.
  • TSOs have been trained to not touch the monkey during the screening process.
  • TSOs will conduct a visual inspection on the monkey and will coach the handler on how to hold the monkey during the visual inspection.
  • The inspection process may require that the handler take off the monkey’s diaper as part of the visual inspection.

In my mind, the last three are the most important: do not touch the monkey, but if you do, please get a coach to show you how, and don’t be afraid to inspect the monkey’s package in necessary. (HT Daily Kos!)

Serious response to come…

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