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Newsflash

April 23, 2007

Did you hear the news? The world is a f***ked up place.

It’s true. I heard it on the talk radio.

I saw it on the Internets.

I read it in the NYT and the WAPO.

If I’m not in a perpetual state of outrage, I must not be paying attention.

Cant you see (sic)?

Our side is trustworthy. Believe me, theirs is not.

Our side is open to new ideas. They are closed.

We are principled. They are ideologues.

We listen to our critics. They cave into them.

They are intractible. We will insist on remaing flexible. That is not negotiable.

We base our policies on reason. They are prisoners of their emotions.

We are on open tent. They are fractured. We are expanding. They are selling out. We are unified. They are in lockstep. Take all of our statements at face value. Read into theirs every dark subtext you can imagine. It’s OK to hate them, because they hated first.

We are right because the world says we are right. They are wrong because they are losing.

Our is the only valid moral indignation.

We are complex. They are simplistic.

We hold dear the fundamental truths. They are comprimised beyond all repspectability.

If they were more like us, we wouldn’t be in this mess.

They are villainously and criminally obscene people. There is not anything worth listening to in what they say.

Close your mind to them. Discount what they say on the basis of who they are. It’s OK, you know they feel the same way about you.

Damn them. They’ve made me just like them. Almost.

Therefore both sides are just as bad!

Congratulations. You are now enlightened.

They are just the same.

They.

Are just the same.

(But not you. Dude, you rawk!)

Free yourself now and repeat after me:

The world is a f***ked up place…

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One Comment leave one →
  1. April 26, 2007 8:12 am

    Well said…

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